People of a certain age may recall “Beat the Reaper,” a game show send-up on Firesign Theater’s 1968 (vinyl!) album, “Waiting for the Electrician or Someone Like Him.” Contestants administered biotoxins on stage had 10 seconds to correctly identify what disease they’d contracted and receive an antidote.
Today, it’s hard to imagine a more appropriate host to such a grim reality show than our own other-worldly colored and coiffed president, Donald J. Trump.
Commenting on Ebola’s near-100% death rate at a Tuesday press conference in India, Trump dismissed concerns over a coronavirus pandemic, saying, “There’s a very good chance you’re not going to die.”
The Daily Show’s Trevor Noah was not put at ease:
Imagining a pilot speaking to passengers, Stephen Colbert told his studio audience, “We are beginning our final descent into Chicago’s O’Hare Airport. Put your tray tables up because we have a solid chance of landing this sucker. I say odds are 60-40 we walk away from this.”
Trump, of course, is more worried about what the virus will do to the stock market and his reelection prospects than he is in what it could do to you. He blamed media outlets’ reporting on the virus for the market tumbling 2,000 points this week.
In a rare press briefing Wednesday, Trump said the United States is “rated No. 1” among countries for being prepared, holding up a chart as evidence. Trump’s own experts predicted more cases occurring nationwide. Trump contradicted them, claiming they few announced cases would be cured in no time.
“We could be just one or two people over the next short period of time,” Trump said, announcing he had put Vice President Mike Pence in charge of the administration’s coronavirus response. Pence is the fall guy.
As Digby noted last night, putting Vice President Mike Pence in charge of the administration’s outbreak response was hardly reassuring. Pence is known for having mishandled an HIV outbreak as governor of Indiana.
“Mike Pence has a lot of experience in this area,” Noah said. “He’s been quarantining himself from women his whole life.”
Twitter had a field day:
“Oh, I’m terribly sorry. You didn’t beat the Reaper,” Firesign’s pre-Trump tells the contestant.
The show’s physician brings the patient out of the isolation booth to tells the contestant and studio audience, “According to my careful prosthesis, this man has The Plague.”
“Well, isn’t he a good sport, folks.”
God knows where we’ll be 28 Days Later.
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