Campaign 2000 Acid Flashback

3rd Presidential debate:

Ms. LISA KEY: How will your tax proposals affect me as a middle-class, 34-year-old single person with no dependents?

Vice Pres. GORE: If you make less than $60,000 a year and you decide to invest $1,000 in a savings account, you’ll get a tax credit which means, in essence, that the federal government will match your $1,000 with another $1,000. If you make less than $30,000 a year and you put $500 in a savings account, the federal government will match it with $1,500. If you make more than $60,000, up to $100,000, you’ll still get a match but not as generous. You will get a–an access to life-long learning and education, help with tuition if you want to get a new skill or–or training, if you–if you want to purchase health insurance, you will get help with that. I–if you want to participate in some of the dynamic changes that are going on in–in our country, you will get specific help in doing that. If you are part of the–of the bottom 20 percent or so of wage earners, then you will get an expanded earned income tax credit.

Now the tax relief that I propose is directed specifically at middle-income individuals and families. And if you have a–if you have an elderly parent or grandparent who needs long-term care, then you will get help with that, $3,000 tax credit to help your expenses in taking care of a loved one who needs long-term care.

Mr. LEHRER: Governor Bush?

Gov. BUSH: Right. Let me just say the first–this–this business about the entitlement he tried to describe about savings, you know, matching savings here and matching savings there, fully funded is going to cost a whole lot of money, a lot more than we have. You’re going to get tax relief under my plan. You’re not to be targeted in or targeted out. Everybody who pays taxes is going to get tax relief. If you take care of an elderly in your home, you’re going to get the personal exemption increased. I think also what you need to think about is not the immediate, but what about Medicare? You get a plan that will include prescription drugs, a plan that will give you options. Now I–I hope people understand that Medicare today is–is–is important, but it doesn’t keep up with the new medicines. If you’re a Medicare person, on–on Medicare, you don’t get the new–new procedures. You’re stuck in a time warp in many ways. So it will be a modern Medicare system that trusts you to make a variety of options for you.

You’re going to live in a peaceful world. It will be a world of peace because we’re going to have a clearer–clearer sight of foreign policy based upon a strong military and a mission that stands by our friends, a mission that doesn’t try to be all things to all people, a judicious use of the military which will help keep the peace.

You’ll be in a world, hopefully, that’s more educated so it’s less likely you’ll be harmed in your neighborhood. See, an educated child is one much more likely to be hopeful and optimistic. You’ll be in a world in which–fits into my philosophy, you know, the harder work–the harder you work, the more you can keep. It’s the American way. Government shouldn’t be a heavy hand–that’s what the federal government does to you–it should be a helping hand, and tax relief and proposals I just described should be a good helping hand.

Tim Russert: That was President…uh ooopsie!…Governor Bush and Vice President Gore in their 3rd and final Presidential debate.

So, panel, what did you think!

Barbie Banfield: Oh my Gawd! Dubble Yew is so kewl cuz he isn’t all stiff and you know, like such a total liar and stuff!

Brian Williams: If I recall correctly, Tim, didn’t the Vice President wear that tie two months ago with an off white shirt and a navy blue 3 button pin stripe? Is it possible, Tim, that the Vice President of the most powerful country on the planet doesn’t realize that all over America, indeed the entire world, people are commenting on the choice of this tie, on this of all nights and how that affects not only his credibility vis a vis his comfort inside his suit but, yea verily, inside his own skin?

Chris Matthews: Gore’s a stiff! And he lied, he lied, he lied!!! He said if she wanted to participate in the dynamic changes in the social security system she’d have to make less than 20,000 year and that’s just not true Tim. Peggy, why do you think that Bush makes so much sense and Gore can’t tell the truth if it hits him over the head with a signed copy of “Love Story?”

Peggy Noonan: Well, Chris it’s because George Bush is a man, a man with two legs and two arms. A man who goes to bed at night and a man who gets up in the morning. He eats breakfast. He feeds his dog. He likes his own pillow because he is a real man, a man who sleeps. Who loves his sleep and his pillow and Americans feel that and understand that and feel comfortable with that. Al Gore is a souless empty shell, a cipher in earth tones who consists of words, and facts and phrases and numbers that nobody understands because he isn’t real, because he can’t love a pillow or his breakfast and people need that in a leader. They need a man, they need one so badly they feel as if they’ll burst if they don’t have one, a rich one with cowboy boots and a bad temper. That’s what I need…er the American people need, Chris, and George W. Bush looked right into my…er…their eyes tonight and promised to give them everything he has until he is completely spent.

Brian: Peggy, do you think he uses 350 count egyptian cotton pillow cases or is he more of a percale kind of guy? His shirts are always so crisp. Do you think he uses starch vis a vis his collars?

Michael Beschloss: When Al Gore spoke tonight I was eerily reminded of Nixon’s farewell speech in which he cried and said he wasn’t a quitter. It is interesting to see the corrupt and mendacious side of Al Gore show itself in such an obvious way. It is said that when Millard Fillmore debated he had much the same effect on people, they recoiled in horror and averted their eyes. Now Governor Bush sounded as if he were a cross between Abraham Lincoln and Socrates with his sober, unadorned style and his challenging abstract way of explaining his positions as if to require the voters to delve into themselves for the deeper answers. He was very noble in his bearing, almost Christlike, but with an accesible persona that brought to mind the universal acceptance of George Washington as the father of our country.

Doris Kearns Goodwin: I thought George W Bush sounded as if he were a cross between Socrates and Abraham Lincoln with his straight and sober style and the abstract way he has of explaining his positions. He wants the voters to delve into themselves for the deeper answers. He very much reminded me of the father of our country, George Washington. Al Gore looked strangely like Millard Fillmore tonight, and perhaps a bit like Derek Jeter and Pedro Martinez too.

Tim: Well, Doris, if you are saying that the Governor of Texas hit the ball out of the park tonight, I’d have to agree with you. Join me Sunday on Meet the Press when I’ll have Jim Nicholson, Karl Rove, and Tom DeLay on to explain Al Gore’s economic plan. Good night from all of us at NBC News.

Thanks to “nameless” from Atrios’ comments section for the debate excerpt, which is 100% factually correct.