The War Show

CNN has it goin’ on. Baghdad Under Seige, Part I put them on the map and they own the sequel, too, so far. Nic Robertson is the only guy worth watching. Aaron Brown’s trying to be Dan Rather, but Dan Rather is still here and he does this verbose sanctimony so much better.

FoxNews proves what we always knew. It is to real news as professional wrestling is to boxing. Fake. They have nothing to offer when something real is happening. Colonel Ollie is unintentionally hilarious.

CBS has the insignia of the military unit in which their correspondent is “embedded” up as a huge logo on the side of the screen, while said correspondent, all dressed up like big grown-up soldier, broadcasts by video phone which delivers its images in an otherwoldly green.

Brokaw suddenly and shockingly looks old and Ted Koppel looks uncomfortably like Dukakis in a tank. Big hair just doesn’t work with the military thing.

And, according to Strangefeld, the war hasn’t even started. When “Shock and Awe” does start, it will be “something we have never seen before.” Cool. Maybe phasers and lasers and MOABS. So, there is still time to get the show together. Tom Friedman’s poppin’ up the Reddenbacher as we speak, rootin’ for president Quarterback’s Hail Mary to hit Saddam right between the eyes. I’ll bet he’s got that CD of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” playing on a loop..

We’re at blinking, neon orange. Tents are being pitched all over Washington as we speak. Atrios calls it “War Porn.”