Yoo hoo. All of you Alabama National Guardsmen who hung around with GWB back in ’72 but haven’t come forward with the home movies and the polaroids of you and him together at the officer’s club because nobody would make it worth your while, —your time has come.
None other than Gary Trudeau has finally come up with some real money, 10 G’s to be specific, for anyone who can prove he was Cap’n T-Ball’s comrade in arms down there in ‘Bama:
For the past twelve years, George W. Bush has had to endure charges that he didn’t take the final two years of his Guard service as seriously as duty required. (For updated timeline, click here.) And the two witnesses who have come forward in support so far haven’t exactly cleared things up. We at the Town Hall believe that with everything he has on his plate, Mr. Bush shouldn’t have to contend with attacks on the National Guard, which is serving so bravely in Iraq. And we’re willing to back up our support with cold, hard cash.
Granted, this has been tried before. In 2000, concerned veterans in both Texas and Alabama offered cash rewards to lure former guardmates of Mr. Bush into stepping forward, to no avail. The problem, in our view, was that these enticements weren’t serious enough, that the sums offered were insulting. In contrast, we at the DTH&WP respect how inconvenient it can be to subject yourself to worldwide media scrutiny in general, and Fox News in particular, and are thus prepared to sweeten previous offers by a factor of five. That’s right, we’re offering $10,000 cash! Yours to either spend or invest in job creation. All you have to do is definitively prove that George W. Bush fulfilled his duty to country.
Gary Trudeau is a top one percenter. He doesn’t want to see those tax cuts rescinded. Scratch his back and he’ll scratch yours.