Number One With A Bullet

If anyone still doubts that politics has left the realm of reality and entered the world of show business, I would suggest that they tune into “Hardball” where television critic Tom Shales is critiquing Condi Rice’s “performance” yesterday. He rated the hearings for drama and suspense and reviewed the various exchanges between the commissioners and Condi as dramatic scenes and sequences.

Personally, I didn’t think there was enough sex and violence in that show. Thankfully there was the gory Iraq footage of bloodied marines and iraqi civilians later in the day to sate my bloodlust. It’s almost as good as Survivor. And that footage of the Japanese hostages is just super. “Will they be rescued or will the bad guys burn them alive?” Stay tuned….

As for sex, I’m just glad that President Clinton testified in secret immediately after Condi, so we can assume that some press ho will report a breathless account of his “testimony” at some point (they always do.) All I can say is those commissioners emerged later in the day looking downright limp with satisfaction:

HAMILTON: Well, it was fascinating, absolutely fascinating. And I think every commissioner would agree with that. He was exceedingly generous with his time, very candid in his discussions of even the most delicate kinds of relationships … I think the commissioners were all favorably impressed, both Republican and Democrat, and very appreciative of the amount of time that he gave to us.

KEAN: And he was just totally frank — totally frank, totally honest, and forthcoming… he said, “I’ll stay just as long as you all want me to.”

Oooh La La. A 240 minute man.

I can hardly wait for Ashcroft’s testimony next week. Maybe he’ll share some of the naughty bits about the porn investigations and sing a chorus or two of “Let The Ego Soar.”

I love Show Biz.