Naughty, Naughty

I read these Wonkette excerpts of Laura Bush’s speech at the WH correspondence dinner last night and I thought it was satire. But I just saw the tape and it’s for real:

“I am married to the President of the United States and here is our typical evening. Nine o’clock, Mr. Excitement here is sound asleep, and I am watching Desperate Housewives. With Lynne Cheney. Ladies and gentleman, I am a desperate housewife. I mean if those women on that show think they’re desperate, they ought to be with George. One night after George went to bed, Lynne Cheney, Condi Rice, Karen Hughes and I went to Chippendales….I won’t tell you what happened, but Lynne’s Secret Service code name is now Dollar Bill.”

“George always says that he’s delighted to come to these press dinners. Baloney. He’s usually in bed by now. I’m not kidding. I said to him the other day, George, if you really want to end tyranny in the world, you’re going to have to stay up later.”

“The amazing thing is that George and I were just meant to be. I was a librarian who spent 12 hours a day in the library, yet somehow I met George.”

“I’m proud of George. He’s learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the horse. What’s worse, it was a male horse.”

Now that I see it again, it really does have the ring of truth.

Thank goodness she’s such a good Christian or someone might get the idea she’s alluding to equine hand jobs, thong stuffing and a very limp husband. I’m sure James Dobson would interpret these comments correctly as her desire for her husband to take his proper leadership role. And, of course, if she doesn’t respond to his leadership George can always take a belt to her as if she’s a dauchshund.

Did anyone happen to notice if FauxNews covered this little story?

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