Special Republican Edition iPod

by tristero

Now you can get your own Special Republican Edition iPod Video. I’m serious. It’s sort of like a U2 iPod but different. You get Bush instead of Bono and The Edge. Apparently you can’t buy it, you have to earn it but it comes with all sorts of very cool stuff including:

The full-length, deeply inspiring music video by former Attorney General John Ashcroft, When the Eagle Soars plus an EXCLUSIVE behind the scenes Making of “When The Eagle Soars” documentary!

Special firewall software that makes it impossible to download any video with St*ph*n C*lb*rt.

La Bamba – Entirely in English!

Automatically contacts the NSA to record all downloads and makes sure you’re not enjoying something you’re not supposed to.

A sneak preview of an edgy new hip hop mix, Mis-Mis-Missionary Position (“It’s Republican Tradition/It’s our Lyin’ Disposition/And It Ain’t No Imposition”) served up by The Hymen Bruthaz.

The long version of the smash hit single Wearin’ Yer Underwear To War by the 101st Fighting Keyboarders.

An enclosed coupon with a special offer to purchase a beautifully boxed set of every Lawrence Welk episode ever broadcast plus a hilarious bonus bloopers DVD – folks, it just doesn’t get better than this, trust me.

The Singing Dogs perform My Boyfriend’s Back – produced by hipper-than-you-could-ever-be blogger Jeff Goldstein.

Excerpts from President George W. Bush’s upcoming book, Mission Truly Accomplished: How I Caught A 7 1/2 Pound Bass In My Own Lake On My Summer Vacation in a special “pondcast” -get it? It’s called a “pun!”- narrated by the president Himself.