The Boylan Email Mystery Solved

by tristero

With great care, I sifted through all the evidence about who wrote the “Colonel Steven Boylan” emails to Glenn Greenwald. After much parsing of internet arcana, I’ve concluded that beyond a doubt these e-missives were not written by Colonel Boylan but rather by someone else with the same name.

Therefore Colonel Steven Boylan should not be held responsible for what Colonel Steven Boylan writes and fobs off as his, ie, Colonel Boylan’s. It is not his, i.e., Colonel Boylan’s, fault that his email account is identically similar to Colonel Boylan’s despite the fact that a fool could easily discern the difference.

Besides, even if we (mistakenly) assume that Colonel Boylan is, in fact, Colonel Boylan – which he is not – the notion of holding a military officer accountable for the words s/he writes during wartime is simply an outrageous idea on Glenn Greenwald’s part. The next thing you know he’ll insist that officers be held responsible for their actions.

With that cleared up, we can now devote our full attention to far more pressing issues.

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[NOTE: There are those among you who may think Twain said something similar about Shakespeare. This is, at best in dispute. As is whether Twain and Shakespeare were in fact both pen names for Samuel Clemens.]