For More Of The Same, Vote McCain

by tristero

[UPDATE: Ht to mm123161 in comments for the much better title.]

In a silly article, written as if McCain had already been anointed by Bush’s dad King of all JesusLand – gosh, I’m sorry, take two:

In a silly article, written as if McCain had already been elected President of the United States, the reporter collects some “common guesses” as to the prospective makeup of McCain’s cabinet. Translated: He and his drinking buddies had a real good time the other night (and that’s right, play your cards right and you can be paid to write shit like that, too!). Nevertheless there is something very important to learn from this article. So I urge you to read it but only while you’re sitting down. It’s scarier than the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, creepier than Larry Craig in the next stall, more horrifying than Cheney with a brewsky and a shotgun:

• Sen. Joe Lieberman, I-Conn., in a prominent job, possibly even secretary of state.

• Former Sen. Fred Thompson, R-Tenn., as attorney general.

• Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani as homeland security secretary.

• Former Sen. Phil Gramm of Texas as treasury secretary.

• Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee as health and human services secretary.

Like I said, the reporter had a lot of fun with his pals last night. But even so – and this is the serious part, folks – you can rest assured that if not these, McCain will pick others for his cabinet who are equally incompetent and ill-qualified.*

It seems obvious, but let’s state it anyway. When you elect a president, you’re not just voting into The Most Powerful Job Ever the prettiest face, the straightest shooter, the amplest codpiece, the most fun guy or gal to have a beer with. No, you’re also voting into hundreds of offices an entire horde – I prefer the word “clutch” but horde will do nicely as well – of people who damn well better be honest, qualified, and level-headed. “George W. Bush” is as much a disastrous administration as it is a single miserable failure. “John McCain” is more of the same.

So let’s not forget it: A vote for McCain is a vote for an incompetent, sclerotic American executive at the precise moment in our history when we, and the world, badly need the ablest people in the country to serve.

*That list is interesting is so many different ways, isn’t it? Notice the subtle blending of ethnicities. And the diversity of genders. And the emphasis on young ideas. Aren’t you dizzy with excitement imagining the country’s treasury overseen by Philip Gramm? And Joseph Lieberman as Secretary of State…the mind boggles.