The Kitten Nazis
I haven’t had occasion to adopt a cat for many years. They tend to adopt me and then live to a very ripe old age. My current furry friend abandoned his perfectly nice home across the street when they had a baby and moved in with us. He just wouldn’t stay home and they finally gave up. (He’s partially blind and very sensitive to noise.)
You might think adopting a cat would be easier than getting a dog. After all, the solitary, self-sufficient feline is the perfect pet for the working person. But I heard from people who were turned down because of the curse of full-time employment—the cat may ignore you, but you should be home all day anyway. Others were told they need to accept a pair of cats or get nothing. And don’t even think about telling the rescue people your cat might go outside occasionally. Lisa wrote to say that she rescues strays that live in her house but are allowed outdoors. When she was looking for another cat and explained this to the person at the shelter, they turned her away.
For any species, the outside world is full of dangers, even potentially deadly ones. Maybe we all should stay inside (and avoid bathtubs and stairs). I have one cat I can’t budge off the couch with a forklift. But the other bolts from between our legs when the front door opens and would be miserable contained in the house. I’ve had successive sets of cats for more than 30 years and have concluded the risk of them going outside is worth their happiness—and they’ve lived to ripe ages. Is it really sensible to keep rescued cats out of loving homes from which they may take an occasional stroll?
Kevin Drum says he’s had similar experiences as well.
My friends are the type of pet owners who buy their cats expensive special food prescribed by the vet. They will spend however many thousands of dollars are required to determine that their little kitty’s breathing problems are something she’s already grown out of. They buy their furniture and bedding with the cats’ comfort foremost in their minds. And they don’t let them outside. Unfortunately, they also work for a living and aren’t home all day. So there are some adoption groups that would not consider them worthy. It’s sickening to see kittens left in cages because they can’t be adopted by Ward and June Cleaver — who don’t exist.
The best thing to do is just lie. Say that someone is always home and that they will never, ever go outside and that you won’t ever feed them table scraps — whatever they want to hear. These people’s hearts are in the right place but they’ve gone terribly wrong somewhere. Best to thank them for their generosity, grab your kitten and run.
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