Saturday Night at the Movies
A shameless filler piece about movie award season
By Dennis Hartley
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The emperor has no clothes…see?
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Some readers have taken me to task over the years regarding my ambivalence toward the Oscars, the Golden Globes, Independent Spirit, People’s Choice, Healthy Choice, USDA Top Choice, blah blah, woof woof. I don’t normally go out of my way to “cover” any of those events, because…well you know, I’m an artist, man, not some chuckle-headed entertainment reporter (you buying this crap?). I guess I’m one of those silly people who perceive the cinema as an art form, not a competitive sport or a popularity contest. And I’m no conspiracy theorist, but considering over 650 first run theatrical features were released domestically in 2012, why does it seem (once again) that all the awards shows appear to draw their nominees from the same tiresomely over-hyped handful of titles? What is Hollywood…Congress!? Alright, I’ll fess up. The week got away from me, and I don’t have any new films to review, so I’m killing time until next week. (Awkward silence). So…what about that weather we’ve been having? How about those Seahawks?
Anyway, in the wake of the Oscar nominations earlier this week, and what with the Golden Globes coming up this Sunday, I figured this was as good a time as any to at least acknowledge the kickoff of the award season (if a bit grumpily). Of course, the People have already spoken (exactly who are these “people” anyway…no one has ever provided an explanation adequate to my satisfaction). I’m sorry to report that I somehow missed all three of the People’s Choice Awards movie winners (The Hunger Games, Ted and The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Shame on me! Bad! Bad critic!). As for the Oscars, per usual, I’m shamefully forced to admit that I haven’t seen the majority of this year’s Best Picture noms. I’ve only seen two (I know, I know…I should have my critic’s license revoked immediately)-Zero Dark Thirty (which I reviewed last week) and Argo (which I didn’t get around to seeing until recently; a decent film, but Wag the Dog did it first and better). What can I say? The Academy has their own little “best of 2012” list, and I have mine…and in this democratized internet age, who’s to judge which list is the more valid?
Of course, I’ll still be watching the Golden Globes this weekend (he says sheepishly, after bloviating for two paragraphs about his haughty disdain for all this bread and circus nonsense). It’s kind of like that old Woody Allen joke about the elderly Jewish women at a restaurant, where one says to the other, “Oh, the food here is terrible!” to which her dining companion empathetically replies “I know! And such small portions!” You see, in my house, yelling at the television is a competitive sport; so I look at this as part of my training for the Oscar telecast. So for those of you who do care about such things, I will leave you with some links to Golden Globe nominees I reviewed in 2012. Erm…enjoy?
Zero Dark Thirty (Nominated for best picture drama, actress, director and screenplay)
The Master (Nominated for best actor, supporting actor and supporting actress drama)
Skyfall (Nominated for best original song)
Hyde Park on Hudson (Nominated for best actor comedy)