One hot lawyer
by digby
Evan Hurst at Wonkette put together a funny little tribute to Stormy Daniels’ attorney, Michael Avenatti. After a dissertation on the man’s smoking hotness, he focused in on the Anderson Cooper appearance of last night that was truly one for the books:
The first was an absolutely CRAY BONKERS panel discussion on the Anderson Cooper show “This Is A News Program, Kind Of,” which runs on CNN while the Chris Hayes TV Hour is happening on MSNBC. David Schwartz, who appears to be a two-bit wanna-be thug lawyer, and who represents fellow two-bit wanna-be thug lawyer Michael, was on the panel, along with Avenatti and Jeffrey Toobin, and oh boy, what a show! But where Schwartz did the POUNDY POUNDY YELLY MADNESS thing, because he has nothing to say, Avenatti just grinned and let the baby cry, while he looked at Anderson Cooper like “Are you seeing this right now?” Like so:
Avenatti was able to do this because Michael Cohen and his lawyer are both very bad lawyers, and it’s best to just let them dig their own graves every time they open their mouths.
Schwartz whined that Stormy Daniels and her lawyer are “defaming” Michael Cohen by saying he personally threatened her, which is funny because that didn’t happen, not even once. But did Avenatti need to fight? Nah. He just said, “File a lawsuit.” Schwartz’s belly angrily rolled around like a bowl full of jelly as he whined about Stormy Daniels’s “fake lie detector test,” which led Avenatti to note for the poor dear that God had given him two ears and just one mouth for a reason, because you’re supposed to LISTEN UP, FOOL.
Then Avenatti taunted Schwartz for 10 straight minutes about what a wussy loser and shitty lawyer Michael Cohen is, and when Schwartz somehow decided it would cost Avenatti and Daniels a million dollars each time Avenatti called Cohen a “thug,” Avenatti just said “thug” 12 TIMES, just to annoy the little twat. And then when Schwartz changed the subject and yelled about a different irrelevant thing, Avenatti said “thug” seven more times, just for good measure.
As the segment went on, Avenatti noted that if you believe the bullshit stories being told by Donald Trump, Michael Cohen and David Schwartz, that Trump never had an affair with Stormy Daniels, then paid out $130,000 to cover up nothing, then you need to call Schwartz at his office and baselessly claim you fucked the president, because then you get $130,000 apparently!
At the end, Avenatti, as he often does, quoted late Senator Howell Heflin of Alabama, who said this:
When the facts are on your side, you argue the facts. When the law is on your side, you argue the law. When you have neither the law nor the facts, you pound the table. That’s what’s goin’ on right here!
Here is some of the interview:
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