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Suck on this

I once received a private tour of the Medical Leech Museum in Charleston, SC. There were live leeches, too, in aquariums. Not a joke. They are still used for reestablishing blood flow to severed limbs after they’ve been reattached. But not for curing Covid.

Andy Borowitz has some fun with that at Florida’s expense:

TALLAHASSEE (The Borowitz Report)—Joseph Ladapo, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’s nominee for surgeon general, stirred controversy by urging the pharmacy chain CVS to carry leeches.

“The ancient Egyptians used leeches in medical treatments more than three thousand years ago,” Ladapo said at his confirmation hearing. “Unlike some quote-unquote vaccines, leeches have stood the test of time.”

Ladapo said that he was dismayed when he recently visited a CVS and found “plenty of masks and test kits, but no leeches.”

“There wasn’t even a leech aisle,” he added, shaking his head.

Praising Ladapo for “thinking outside the box” to combat the pandemic, DeSantis confirmed that he was mulling a leech mandate for Florida’s schools.

What’s crazy is humorists are having trouble keeping ahead of the crazies. Just when you think your joke is over the top, along comes the Soup Lady Who Broke the Internet and the Wisconsin GOP.

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