They’ve been freaking out about this issue all day:
M&M’s is launching woke ‘all-female’ packs to celebrate female empowerment and attempt to shake things up in a continued shift toward progressive branding.
Mars, M&M’s parent company, debuted the feminist candy wrappers earlier this week, exclusively featuring the company’s three female mascots: green, brown and the newly-introduced purple.
The all-female package – upside down, to show how powerful women have ‘flipped the status quo’ – will be the first time the brown and green M&Ms have been featured together since a viral tweet from 2015 sparked rumors they were a lesbian couple.
It isn’t the first time they’ve gotten hysterical over M&Ms. Recall this:
Carlson has tackled important issues such as Elmo’s opinions on BLM, and the supposed cancellation of Dr. Seuss, whose books continue to be massively popular. Recently, Carlson was triggered by a redesign of the M&M cartoon characters used to market the candy.
The M&Ms are set to shift their focus, for some reason, reflecting a new era of diversity and inclusiveness, in a move that amused many Twitter users; the focus on Orange M&Ms “anxiety” proved a particularly popular joke.
Carlson, however, didn’t see the funny side; the Fox News host seemed particularly upset by the change seen in the two female M&Ms, as the green M&M has traded her knee-high boots for comfy trainers, while the brown M&M has shortened the height of her heels.
In one of the Fox News host’s most unhinged rants yet, Carlson condemned the chocolate-coated characters as “less sexy.” Carlson went on to make some odd assumptions regarding the motive of M&M’s marketing team, passionately stating:
“M&M’s will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgynous. Until the moment you wouldn’t want to have a drink with any one of them. That’s the goal.”
No word yet on whether he would like to have a drink with the new purple body positive M&M who appears to have some extra chocolate. I’m going to guess no.
This is where we are folks. Have a drink.