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“Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?”

From the “I Can’t Even” files

If not for Tucker Carlson and ball tanning, I’d think this was a joke (Washington Post):

It’s been almost 2,000 years since the Roman Empire reached the historic peak of its power. But many men still contemplate it — quite a lot.

A new social media trend prompting women to ask the men in their lives how often they think about ancient Rome reveals that it crosses the minds of many men on a weekly basis. Even daily. Or more — to the surprise and confusion of their loved ones.

“Three times a day,” answered one woman’s fiancé in a TikTok video. “There’s so much to think about,” he explained, eliciting a stunned look into the camera from his soon-to-be wife.

“They built an entire world-dominating society,” another man exclaimed when asked by a bewildered-looking woman to justify why he contemplates ancient Rome.

Domination. Got it.

@listenwithbritt #stitch with @HapaGirl learning new things after 13 years. #romanempire #husband #trend ♬ original sound – Listenwithbritt🎧📚

@kirakosarin “theres so much to think about!” 🫠 #romanempire ♬ original sound – Kira Kosarin

Captain Oveur: Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

According to historians, one explanation could be that Western societies have historically overemphasized the aspects of Roman history that are associated with masculinity in the popular imagination.

The first thing that comes to the mind is “an image of the Roman legion, the imperial eagle and that sort of military aspect — along with gladiators, which has a long association with masculinity and power,” Hannah Cornwell, a historian of the ancient world at Britain’s Birmingham University, said in a telephone interview Thursday.

[…]

“Ancient Rome was of course patriarchal and violent,” Lewis Webb, a historian of ancient Rome at Oxford University, wrote in an email. “But it was also a diverse place: there were numerous forms of masculinity, women could have agency and power, and there were multiple gender expressions and identities, as well as various sexualities.”

Somehow, I don’t think diversity and gender-bending is atop these men’s minds when they think about ancient Rome multiple times a day.

Stories about the viral trend have cropped up in Time, Rolling Stone, Yahoo, and Cosmopolitan:

At the end of August, a Roman reenactor based in Sweden, Gaius Flavius, took to his Instagram to post a reel asking his followers to ask their partners how often they think about the Roman Empire, saying: “Ladies, many of you do not realize how often men think about the Roman Empire. Ask your husband/boyfriend/father/brother – you will be surprised by their answers.”

His post was in reference to the post made by Swedish influencer Saskia Cort, who originally began asking her Instagram followers in September 2022 to ask their partners how often they think about the Roman Empire. It went viral in Sweden, but now a year later has gone global.

A countertrend, Insider reports, is to ask women what they think about most often: Kidnapping and violent crime are top of mind, some women say.

“I think it’s being murdered, or assaulted,” Melissa Urban said in a TikTok. She captioned the clip: “With a splash of did I leave the curling iron on.”

“Definitely being kidnapped, or just in general somebody’s gonna get me,” says TikToker Danyelle Leyden.

@melissa_u #stitch with @emmy ♬ original sound – Melissa Urban

“It speaks volumes for society that women are so cautious and have to feel on guard most of their lives,” Leyden said. “I think unfortunately most women have had past experiences that led them to be this cautious.”

“For me it also put into further perspective that as women we feel like prey subconsciously,” she added. 

And the men? How many daydream of being predators? With nicely tanned balls.

We are so messed up.

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