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Krispi Gnome

The degenerating saga of the GOP’s mind virus

The best minds of the MAGA generation were not destroyed by madness. They’re empowered by it, revel in it, slather themselves in it. The T-partiers were pikers by comparison. They pretended that their beef with Barack Obama was taxation and his birth certificate. Alt-right street fighters tacked “based” to the front of their monikers to signify their antipathy towards their fellow Americans. The Party of Trump is an orgy of debasement.

The talent competition at Donald Trump’s VP pageant over the weekend involved limbo. How low could they go? Lick his shoes? Lick the bottom of his shoes? Digby profiled some of the contestants on Monday.

Then we come to the dog-executing, based governor of South Dakota, Krispi Gnome, and her latest memoir. And its anecdotes and edits. And her “Face The Nation” interview.

James Parker proposes additional memoirs and their edits (in her voice) at The Atlantic :

It has been brought to my attention that my memoir The Truth: My Life, How It Really Happened, and What It Means for America—for which I conducted more than 500 hours of interviews with myself—contains an anecdote in which the late Samuel Beckett mails me his Nobel Prize for Literature medal and insists, in a long and heartfelt letter, that I deserve it more than he does. This anecdote has been adjusted.

It has been brought to my attention that my memoir Just the Facts: Everything I Ever Did and the Order I Did It In—for which I embedded with myself on a series of dangerous solo military missions—contains an anecdote in which, after a boozy lunch with King Charles III, I invent the iPod. This anecdote has been adjusted.

It has been brought to my attention that my memoir You Better Believe It: All My Realest Adventures—for which I accompanied myself on many trips to palaces, embassies, medieval mountain hideaways, global HQs, elite conferences, celebrity meditation retreats, and secret underwater laboratories—contains an anecdote in which I win Season 14 of Survivor but turn down a subsequent offer (from Jeff Probst himself) to host the show. This anecdote has been adjusted.

It has been brought to my attention that my memoir The Honesty Gospel—for which I observed myself over seven sessions of ketamine therapy, supervised by myself—contains an anecdote in which I am visited by the archangel Gabriel. No adjustment has been made to this anecdote.

It has been brought to my attention that my memoir No BS: Straight Talk From the Mouth of Reality—for which I spent several months on the set of a documentary about me, directed by me, and starring (as me) both Steve Martin and Eva Longoria—contains an anecdote in which I ask the late J. Robert Oppenheimer, “Listen, Bob, are you sure you want to split the atom?” This anecdote has been adjusted.

The CDC really should be looking at whether this GOP mind virus is contagious. We know already it is a clear and present danger to the republic.

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