Trump has slapped a 135% tariff on them
Russian President Vladimir Putin has agreed not to take over the whole of Ukraine, Trump bragged on Thursday.
In tragicomic, “universally revered” news from The Onion (via John Amato):
White House sources have confirmed the successful execution of 19-year-old college sophomore Evan Dixon late last night by an elite team of special forces.
Stand in the breach, please.
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