Saturday Night At The Movies
Ay, cabron! The Men Who Stare at Goats
By Dennis Hartley
“These are not the droids you are looking for.”
So what do you get when you cross Ishtar
Ewan McGregor stars as Bob Wilton, a recently cuckolded Michigan newspaper reporter who, desperate to break out of his self-pitying reverie, decides on a whim to become a freelancing Iraq War journalist (circa 2003). As he tarries in Kuwait City, uncertain about how to actually go about getting himself into Iraq (he hadn’t quite thought that part through before heading overseas) he comes across a mysterious, intriguing fellow named Lyn Cassady (George Clooney) who “happens” to be heading that way. Initially playing it coy and denying that he is any kind of spook (in spite of veritably oozing Eau de Black Ops), Cassady does a 360 and opens up to Wilton, spinning him quite a wild narrative.
Before he knows it, the reporter is tagging along with Cassady on his nebulous “mission”, too gob smacked by tales of top-secret U.S. military programs involving the development of “psychic warriors” who liken themselves to Jedi knights, devoted to honing their mastery of various psychokinetic arts, to realize that he could be heading into the middle of the Iraqi desert with a man who is completely delusional and dangerously unhinged (it’s sort of like a Hope and Crosby “on the road” flick-except with insurgents and IEDs).
As Cassady recounts the history of his personal involvement with these experiments, we are introduced to two significant characters in his past via flashback sequences (throughout which Clooney, sporting shoulder-length hair and mustache, bears an uncanny resemblance to a White Album-era George Harrison). One is Cassady’s mentor, Bill Django (Jeff Bridges, in full Dude mode), a Vietnam vet who has written a bible of sorts, from which springs the concept of the “New Earth Army” (comprised of the aforementioned psychic warriors, with a litany of tenets co-opted from the Human Potential Movement to help guide them…think of it as a kind of a “hug thy enemy” approach-like if Wavy Gravy was the Secretary of Defense). The other is Cassady’s nemesis, Larry Hooper (the perennially hammy Kevin Spacey) a former brother-in-arms who has turned to the Dark Side (Okay, I’ll just say what everyone is thinking right about now-Bridges is Obi-Wan, and Spacey is Darth Vader…happy?). And now, it seems Luke Skywalker, oops, I mean, Lyn Cassady is on a “mission” to get the band back together.
The fact that Ewan McGregor was the young Obi-Wan in the Star Wars prequels is not lost on the filmmakers, who provide him with opportunity for self-referential spoofing reminiscent of Ryan O’Neal’s classic deadpan in What’s Up, Doc?
There is some unevenness in the film’s tone, but with a dream cast, who are all obviously having such a great time, it’s pretty easy to enjoy the ride (I mean, c’mon-Bridges, Clooney, Spacey, AND a gifted “fainting goat” who knows how to pick up his cues? It all adds up to black comedy gold, my friend). In fact, the film is kind of a throwback to a certain style of quirky, unfettered, freewheeling satire that pervaded the mid-to-late 60s; totally-blown fare like The Magic Christian
I have one potential caveat for some viewers. This is a little weird, but I feel that it bears mentioning. The screening I attended was held this past Thursday evening. Right before I left for the theatre, I was watching the network news coverage of the tragic events at Fort Hood that had occurred earlier in the day. There is a scene in the film, where a soldier stationed at Fort Bragg loses his shit and threatens to start shooting fellow soldiers who are all gathered en masse doing PT. In the context of the film, it’s played strictly for laughs (after all, he’s peaking on acid and running around naked waving a loaded .45). But viewing that scene with the footage from the evening news still fresh in my mind was quite eerie. Obviously, the filmmakers could have had no way of predicting this bizarre kismet, but I just thought I’d throw that out there; if you are someone who was deeply or personally affected by this awful incident, you should know there is a scene that could be potentially traumatic for you. On a lighter note, I have one final “FYI”. There are two songs you will not be able to get out of your head for days: Boston’s “More Than a Feeling”, and the theme from Barney the Dinosaur’s TV show. You have been warned!
I’m just sayin’…
Previous posts with related themes:
Military Intelligence and You!
Update:
…and one more thing
Just before the lights went down for the screening, we were treated to a surprise visit from a rep from a Seattle-area abandoned farm animal sanctuary, who had brought along a couple of goats for us to, uh, stare at. Okay, I’ll just say it-they were fucking adorable, all right? Actually, I did learn a few things of interest (aside from soon gleaning as to why they had duct-taped Visqueen down on the floor in the presentation area). Apparently, there is a growing problem (at least here in Washington state) of people in urban areas buying goats as a sort of novelty organic lawnmower. Of course, the perpetually peckish little fellas make quick work of the local shrubbery; unfortunately, many owners then realize that care and feeding is going to require more work and responsibility than they had thought, so the poor creatures are ultimately abandoned.
At any rate, here’s a link to more information about the New Moon Farm Goat Rescue and Sanctuary, if you want to help them out a little (they also provide links on their site to similar operations all around the country if you’re looking for one in your neck of the woods to help out). BTW they don’t limit their rescue operation to goats; they extend a hand (cloven hoof?) to all manner of domesticated farm critters brought to them via owner surrender or animal control. There’s a bazillion rescue organizations for dogs and cats, but I thought that this was a pretty cool and unique idea. Who knew? Bleat!
DH
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