Bush Exceeds Expectations. Again.

by tristero

A while ago (I’ll get the links later), I took a lot of flak from folks when I opined that stay or leave wouldn’t matter very much ’cause Bush would find a way to fuck up either action beyond everyone’s wildest imaginings. What got everyone so steamed was the assumption that somehow I was going all McCain on you. In vain I protested that I was not in way endorsing the idea the troops stay. Of course I don’t. I was simply talking about how spectacularly incompetent Bush was.

But I felt quite certain that if Bush agreed to a withdrawal, he would find a way to do it that would make matters far worse. Exactly how he could manage such an astonishing feat I had no idea, Torch Najaf? Destroy Fallujah again? Nevertheless, I know this president. I knew he was capable of making a troop withdrawal as insane an action as all his others.

It looks like I may be right, unfortunately:

President Bush is weighing a range of options in Iraq, including a partial withdrawal of U.S. troops from violence-plagued cities and a troop buildup near the Iranian and Syrian borders, his top security aide said today.

Do I have to spell out what’s so awful about this? Ok, I suppose I do.

Since late this spring, Seymour Hersh has been publishing article after article detailing behind the scenes plan for nuclear war with Iran. That’s right, nuclear war with Iran. Sometime around April, there was a revolt among the US generals who insisted that the nuclear option be removed from discussions about military options re: Iran before they would agree to discuss them. Only after the generals went semi-public did the Administration back down and take the nuclear option out of discussion. Now if you believe Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld stopped jonesing – and planning – for the Big Bang on Iran, you’re a fool. But ok, at least officially, active planning to hit Iran continued, but no nukes (wink, wink).

Recently, Hersh reported after the November election that as far as Cheney was concerned, the Bush administration will simply circumvent Congress if he, Cheney, deems it necessary to whack Iran or Syria. And believe me, he does so deem it necessary.

Soooo, we come to today. The Iraqi civil war that Bush/Iraq ignited has descended, as many said it would, to close to utter anarchy. And the US, weakened -as Kurtz so helpfully informed us – by all those Democrats who want America to “lose” is demanding withdrawal. And lo and behold, Emperor George listens to his subjects. We will given them withdrawal.

Now, no one said where they wanted the troops withdrawn to. Surely you didn’t expect Bush to ship them all to Honolulu and spend the rest of their service sipping Mai Tais and lowering their precious supply of oxytocin engaging in fornication with the locals, now did you?

So Americans want withdrawal? They’re getting withdrawal. To the Syrian and Iranian borders. Where else?

Check it out: Bush will tell us, as he always has, that the Iranians and/or the Syrians – it depends on which day it is as to who’s to blame – are the ones doing all the mischief in the Middle East. “That’s why I withdrew ’em!” You can see the smirk, can’t you, as he says he’s just doing what we wanted in the best way he sees fit. And no doubt, the soldiers will be very useful interdicting the clotted mass of terrorists sneaking over the borders.

But here’s the genius of it. If tensions rise maybe – say, if Iranians foolishly get alarmed that American troops are massing on the border after nine months of rumors of an American nuclear attack, and an Iranian sneezes a little too loudly – why how convenient! Before you can fake a bad Colonel Klink accent and mutter “blitzkrieg,” kaboom! That’s one small step for some troops, one more insane new war for a total moron and a horrified world.

Face it, ladies, gentlemen, and Republicans. When it comes to malicious incompetence, they broke the mold when it comes to 43, the Florence Foster Jenkins of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave (with profuse apologies to the dear lady).

PS I hope you realize I’m not whining or angry that folks let me have it when I said it didn’t matter whether the US withdrew or not as long as Bush was in charge, ’cause he’d fuck it up either way. I’m glad you did, I pay close attention to when you disagree, I learn a lot when you do, and I try my best not to take the insults that accompany disagreements personally, even if they were meant to be.

Just don’t call me “Upstart!” Ever. That would be…war.