All Paths Return To The Clenis

by tristero

What I want to know is this: Can Bill Clinton prove he wasn’t in Dallas on November 22, 1963?

Think I’m kidding? If it’s evil, Clinton had a hand in it. Think about it. There was Clinton’s drug smuggling which led to Noelle Bush’s drug addiction. And Clinton cavorting with two disciples of Sappho at a dinner party caused poor Mary Cheney to think that maybe it’s ok to love someone who, chances are, will never adopt her dad’s hairstyle. Not to mention that Clinton’s gory familiar invented the internet, that swamp of filth. (And if you don’t think the internet is perverted, just ask Jeff Goldstein or any other upstanding Republican whose done the research into how appalling it is. They’ll send you a long list of sites they’ve compiled where men and dogs…shocking stuff.) And when Clinton admitted receiving fellatio from Monica Lewinsky, he sent a strong signal that it was ok for America to engage in a literal epidemic of oral sex, dooming thousands of hapless spermatoza to a horrible death, eaten away by stomach acids or left to wither and dry into an icky stain on a blue dress. Those are your children, America!

And now, this. Unforgivable. Iran today is all Clinton’s fault.

See what I mean? Suddenly, Clinton’s presence in Dallas ’63 doesn’t seem so far-fetched, now does it? And I’ll bet if we could examine all the records from Bay of Pigs, we’d learn that Slick Willie called up his pal Castro – ‘course they were buddies, still are, remember that Elian kid he made go back to Cuba? – and gave him all the details.

Pity poor George W. Bush. Six years after Clinton and he’s still wasting time cleaning up Bill’s mess. And people think BUSH makes mistakes? How could he? I’m serious, man. Bush doesn’t have time to make his own mistakes, what with trying to correct all of Clinton’s!