Jeffies

by tristero

What are “jeffies?” – Jeffies comprise a sub-category of the strawman argument which either explicitly use the construction, “There are some who…” or an obvious variation thereof. They describe a ridiculous position that no one seriously holds and include a firm, if obviously banal and vacuous, assertion of disagreement from the “jeffer” (the person who uses the jeffy; the audience upon which jeffies are used are said to have been “jeffed”).

Jeffies are, by definition, limited to members of the Bush administration and their propagandists. Other people can, and have, used the same language on occasion, but only statements by the Bushies using this construction will be considered authentic jeffies. Just as the Bush administration’s lawyers have concocted an exclusive set laws that apply to them and them only, I have determined (for reasosn I cannot divulge) that jeffies are unique to the Bush goverment and their cronies.

What if a strawman argument does not quite pass the litmus test of being a pure jeffie? – Such arguments are called “geoffies,” and their designation as such will be determined on a case by case basis. As Darwin demonstrated, categorization by species is inherently ambiguous and I believe that insight also applies here.

Why are they called jeffies? – No particular reason, they had to be called something. It has no bearing on recent kerfuffles in the blogosphere and those who think so will soon need to reckon with the wrath of the Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Future posts which report the latest jeffies will refer back to this one so that I needn’t redefine it over and over. The definition may be updated from time to time.

Today’s jeffies come courtesy of The Carpetbagger Report and were discovered in in yesterday morning’s White House press conference emanating from the maw of George W. Bush:

“Our foreign policy up to now was to kind of tolerate what appeared to be calm. And underneath the surface was this swelling sense of anxiety and resentment, out of which came this totalitarian movement that is willing to spread its propaganda through death and destruction, to spread its philosophy. Now, some in this country don’t — I can understand — don’t view the enemy that way. I guess they kind of view it as an isolated group of people that occasionally kill. I just don’t see it that way.”

…”The enemy has said that it’s just a matter of time before the United States loses its nerve and withdraws from Iraq. That’s what they have said. And their objective for driving us out of Iraq is to have a place from which to launch their campaign to overthrow modern governments — moderate governments — in the Middle East, as well as to continue attacking places like the United States. Now, maybe some discount those words as kind of meaningless propaganda. I don’t, Jim. I take them really seriously.”

The following I would also characterize as a jeffy as “some” is clearly implied before “people”:

“[T]he United States of America must take this threat seriously and must not — must never forget the natural rights that formed our country. And for people to say, well, the natural rights only exist for one group of people, I would call them — I would say that they’re denying the basic rights to others.”

[Update: Jeffies were recently described, but not named as a specific sub-category by Jennifer Loven of the AP. While I have enormous respect for Ms. Loven’s work, the fact remains that I have priority on the discovery of the jeffy by over three years and therefore claim the right to name them.]