Heart ‘n Soulman
Atrios has a nice story about Vincent Gallo, newest GOP hearthrob. now, here’s a Hollywood star with something to say.
Kevin at Catch posted a few days back about Mr. Gallo’s family values including a lovely picture of him with The New York Young Republican Club. (Click that link. You have to see it to believe it.) He also excerpted some extremely incisive comments that Gallo recently shared with Paper magazine. He’s a lovely young man. Nothing like that (black) Whoopie Goldberg. I can’t wait to hear Chris Matthews interview him.
HIM[Gallo]: I don’t trust or love anyone.
ME: Why?
HIM: Because people are all creepy. Creepy creepy creeps. Creeping around. Creeping here and creeping there. Creeping everywhere. Crippity crappity creepies.
ME: Who do you think are the creepiest?
HIM: I’m glad you asked. Well, there’s that rat bastard, Tracy Falco, the backstabber from Ted Demme’s company; that twisted phony Rene Ricard; Kate Miller that lesbo monster; Kelly Lynch that bullshit bad actress, she’s the queen member of the lucky club; Tim Roth, that filthy no-talent mini dwarf Brit; Bill and Hillary Clinton and their ugly orphan-like daughter Chelsea; Greta Seacat and her poisoned mind ‘acting coach,’ my ass; Susan Bertram, that Judas piece of crap, listen everybody, she’s the worst wardrobe person in the world, don’t hire her for your film; Mark Romanek, that dark, anal photo plagiarist and his useless penis, he’s a great example of a world gone wrong; Cheryl ‘Dumpy’ Dunn and her pigeon dung photographs, wow is she creepy; Phil Goldfarb that AlAnon basketcase, worst producer who ever lived; Jennifer ‘Leave me alone’ Levy; Dewey’s friend, Analisa ‘The character assassin’ Tessin; Vicky Icky she was so sticky Galvez Bici; that lumpy-assed Alba Clemente; Paul ‘I can’t direct but boy, can I brown nose my way to the top’ Anderson and his fermented, mulatto cannabis-soaked girlfriend Fiona Apple who coulda been shoulda been; Kelly Lynch’s bitch-whipped husband Mitch; Nam-Anh Duong; John Kennedy Jr. that philandering cadaver; my Ex-Mother-in-law; Tammy -Sick Sick Sick and Ugly Ugly Ugly- Rosen, that jerk; Todd -you wish you had my rod-Feldman, that short Jew bastard and his polluted and dishonest cousin Eileen Feldman, it’s a miracle anyone can even make a movie with assholes like this in Hollywood; Davis “Boy Does a Herpes Sore Smell” LaChapellle; everyone at Lions Gate films, is that the best Canada has to offer, a bunch of lowlifes like that?; Jefferson “What a” Hack from Dazed and Confused magazine are they still in business? Cause I heard all he does now is fetch cocaine for Kate Moss; Dale “H like in Homo, I like in In-his-ass, and V like in Virus” Peck I dare anyone to stay awake through one of his novels. That’s some creepy losers right there, huh? Huh? And what about the actress Zoey “Go Ahead and Blow Me” Deschanel, you fuckin’ lying whore, I’ll get you; from Universal Home DVD Releases, Colleen Benn(d her over and fuck her fat asshole); Suzanne “Pockface” Nichols and her pockmarked nipples; Michael “Musty” Musto (faggot); Andrew “Drew a picture of his penis on a matchbook actual size” Richardson and his syphillytic boyfriend Bob Racine [hairstylist, look it up]; And from Connecticut without Etiquette, Chloe Sevigny, who when she’s not drunk and posing in movies is busy out spreading Harmony Korine’s herpes. Oh yeah, and my mother. Mamma Creepy Corleone. And my father, the Godfather of Creepy.
Oh and he ended it with “And may God bless the United States of America.”
If he moves to Illinois in the next week, can they still get him on the ballot?