As unprofessional as you thought

Freelance journalist Laura Jedeed thought she’d apply for a job with ICE just to get a peek on the inside. What she wrote up at Slate reveals a screening process as sloppy as you expected.
She applied at a thinly attended Texas Immigration and Customs Enforcement Career Expo last August. Other applicants Jedeed saw there hoping for the $50,000 signing bonus fell into three groups: “thick-necked law enforcement types who look like they do steroids but don’t know how to work out, bearded spec-ops wannabes who look like they take steroids and do know how to work out, and dorks.”
Jedeed writes:
At first glance, my résumé has enough to tantalize a recruiter for America’s Gestapo-in-waiting: I enlisted in the Army straight out of high school and deployed to Afghanistan twice with the 82nd Airborne Division. After I got out, I spent a few years doing civilian analyst work. With a carefully arranged, skills-based résumé—one which omitted my current occupation—I figured I could maybe get through an initial interview.
But a simple Google search would turn up Jedeed’s articles like “What I Saw in LA Wasn’t an Insurrection. It Was a Police Riot.” So there was no way ICE would offer her a job. Right?
ICE nonetheless emailed a tentative offer contingent on filling out an online declaration and within five days returning a set of forms: “driver’s license information, an affidavit that I’ve never received a domestic violence conviction, and consent for a background check.”
Jedeed completed none of the required steps. Three weeks later, an email from LabCorp asked her to appear for a drug screening. What the hell? Even though she’d used cannabis (legal in New York) six days earlier, she went, she peed, she expected an ICE rejection.
After nine days of waiting, she logged onto USAJobs to check her application status.
According to the application portal, my pre-employment activities remained pending. And yet, it also showed that I had accepted a final job offer and that my onboarding status was “EOD”—Entered On Duty, the start of an enlistment period. I moused over the exclamation mark next to “Onboarding” and a helpful pop-up appeared. “Your EOD has occurred. Welcome to ICE!”
I clicked through to my application tracking page. They’d sent my final offer on Sept. 30, it said, and I had allegedly accepted. “Welcome to Ice. … Your duty location is New York, New York. Your EOD was on Tuesday, September 30th, 2025.”
By all appearances, I was a deportation officer. Without a single signature on agency paperwork, ICE had officially hired me.
Perhaps, if I’d accepted, they would have demanded my pre-employment paperwork, done a basic screening, realized their mistake, and fired me immediately. And yet, the pending and upcoming tasks list suggested a very different outcome. My physical fitness test had been initiated on Oct. 6, it said: three days in the future. My medical check had apparently been completed on Oct. 6.
Her background check was also logged complete as of Oct. 6.
Jedeed’s experience reaffirms a December Daily Mail investigation that “exposed how Immigration and Customs Enforcement has lowered standards so dramatically that the new cohort now included recent high school graduates and applicants who can ‘barely read or write’ as well as those who lack basic physical fitness and even have pending criminal charges.”
Standards are so low that (emphasis mine):
‘We have people failing open-book tests and we have folks that can barely read or write English,’ one Department of Homeland Security (DHS) official told the Daily Mail.
‘We even had a 469-lb man sent to the academy whose own doctor certified him not at all fit for any physical activity.’
Insiders say the vetting process has been so rushed that officials didn’t even wait for drug test results to come back before hiring recruits and flying them off to Georgia, only to discover afterward that tests came back positive.
CBP/ICE agents make the Keystone Cops look like competent professionals. These are the under-trained thugs that you see each day in video from Minneapolis. There they assault citizens and non-citizens alike with impunity, stop and drag them from their cars without probable cause, break into homes without proper warrants, and ignore constitutional rights the rest of Americans learned in grade school.
Stephen Miller is directing Trump to sweep away the last remnants of the American republic and replace it with totalitarianism. You may want to ask agents when they get their white armor and blasters.
The non-lawyer reminds his wannabe stormtroopers:
REMINDER. “To all ICE officers: You have federal immunity in the conduct of your duties. Anybody who lays a hand on you or tries to stop you or tries to obstruct you is committing a felony. You have immunity to perform your duties, and no one—no city official, no state official, no illegal alien, no leftist agitator or domestic insurrectionist—can prevent you from fulfilling your legal obligations and duties. The Department of Justice has made clear that if officials cross that line into obstruction, into criminal conspiracy against the United States or against ICE officers, then they will face justice.”
@StephenM
Note “domestic insurrectionist.” It may be an oxymoron — consider the author — but it is Miller telegraphing where he expects to steer Trump next: into invocation of the Insurrection Act.
Trump-Miller-Noem hoped to send stormtroopers not to enforce U.S. immigration law but to condition Americans to seeing soldiers in the streets, to instill fear of the empire, and to break any resistance. Instead they sent armed clowns in camo.
Strike us down and you only make us stronger. Prove that Trump has underestimated the power of that Force.



















