WWBD?

The best writer in America has some good advice for John Kerry:

Kerry has not been anywhere near quick enough on his feet so far. I mean, honestly, here’s the president talking about having a high father — as opposed to a lowdown brother, which would be Neil. (Back in the steamer trunk, Neilsie!) Here’s the president’s favorite policy hot-cha gal comparing abortion-rights demonstrators to terrorists. (Ten Minutes From Normal, indeed. And several miles beyond its sister city, Sane.) These are very big fish in extremely small barrels here.

I know part of the problem: Kerry has brought aboard some career hacks from the commonwealth, God save it. Some of these guys worked for Michael Dukakis back in 1988, and they’re only now getting back in the game because it’s taken them 14 years to get back those parts of their respective anatomies that were still lodged between Jim Baker’s teeth. Nice to see these guys back at the helm of another campaign. It’s like spotting Captain Joe Hazelwood a pitcher of martinis and another oil tanker.

What is abundantly clear is that Kerry’s hired the wrong guys from Massachusetts. There’s only one man, only one true leader, who’s fit for the kind of battle in which Kerry has found himself.

His name is Belichick. Bill Belichick.

Quite simply, we here in Massachusetts believe in Bill, who has led us out of the wilderness and through two Super Bowls. We believe in Bill with a constant faith that makes Tim LaHaye read like Jacqueline Susann. Our devotion is whole. It is complete. In Bill we trust.

[…]

Admittedly, Bill’s politics are a bit of a mystery. He’s a Wesleyan man, so he’s got that small, New England, liberal-arts-college thing going for him. In addition, Belichick has hinted more than once that he’s a Democrat, and Rush Limbaugh once called the Patriots “socialists,” because they were introduced as a team before the Super Bowl in 2002. And he’s a Bon Jovi fan, which can mean anything at all. But he’s driven and focused, and he’s coldly maniacal about winning. That’s all that’s needed for the moment.

Do I overstate? In a political culture in which Fred Barnes is a thinker and Tom Brokaw a historian? Please. It’s time for John Kerry’s campaign to join the faithful. We, too, follow our higher father. I suggest it’s time for the junior senator to adopt the first public expression of faith shared by all New England since the Pilgrims landed in Plymouth, beginning our long historical march toward jobs our uncles can get for us on the county-road crews.

WWBD?

What Would Bill Do?