Conservative Manifestos For Idiots

by digby

Kevin Drum linked to an article by Michelle Cottle in an obscure, subscription-only, outmoded journal in which she discusses the latest rightwing punlishing phenom, the child brainwashing author named Katharine DeBrecht who wrote the alleged runaway best-seller called “Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!”

I hadn’t heard of this children’s book, but apparently Limbaugh is rivaling Oprah these days and managed to get 30,000 of them sold after mentioning it on his show. Debrecht now has a contract for several more books, the announced titles of which include:

“Help! Mom! Hollywood’s in My Hamper!”
“Help! Mom! The Ninth Circuit Nabbed the Nativity!”
“Help! Mom! There Are Lawyers in My Lunchbox!”

I’m not kidding.

But, let’s be honest about this. These children’s books aren’t actually aimed at children. They can’t be. Kids won’t read books about the Ninth Circuit. These books are cheap propaganda items aimed at the neanderthal base of the Republican Party, for whom Ann Coulter’s screeds are over their heads. There are millions of them. They’ll buyt them “for the children” but they’ll read them outloud to the poor tykes over and over again for their own education.

It reminds me of the theory we’ve all seen circulated about why Bush always sounds like he’s lecturing to five year olds when he has one of these town meetings. (“See, social security should make you feel secure. That’s why the word security is in the name, see…”) The only reasonable explanation for this infantile rhetoric is that he’s regurgitating these explanations as they were explained to him.

These “Help Mom!” books will come in very handy as debate prep for George Allen, Junior’s intellectual heir. And they will undoubtedly become the “Conscience of a Conservative” of this new Pantload era of the conservative movement. That’s how low conservative philosophy has sunk.

Update: I greatly enjoyed Kevin’s commenters’ suggestions for further books. Here are just a few of the gems:

Help! Mom! There’s a Homosexual in My Closet!(…hmmm, not quite right. Too many hidden meanings.)

Help! Mom! There’s a Catholic Priest in the Rectory!(…again, no. People could read something into that.)

Help Mom! There are DEA Agents in my Viagra stash!

Help! Mom! A village in Texas lost its idiot!

Help! Mom! There’s a Doughnut Hole in Grandpa’s Prescription Drug Coverage!

Help Mom! I can’t remember the Ten Commandments!

Help! Mom! The Religious Right Won’t Stop Sniffing My Panties!

Help! Mom! I’ve got two moms!